A new olympic sport?

If anyone is a CBC Radio nerd like me, they have listened to or at least heard of This Is That. If you are not a CBC nerd then I will try to explain what the program is and you will thank me for it if you ever come across it for the first time and wonder “what the heck are they talking about??”

So This Is That is a ½ hour radio program that sounds like any regular CBC program with the radio host giving a brief description of a story and then interviewing people about the story. The difference being the stories are made up and completely ridiculous. But because they sound so real, when you first listen to the program, you are flabbergasted by what you are hearing - it can’t possibly be true because it is so ridiculous. What’s funnier is they often play recordings of voicemails from people who are either flabbergasted (“how can this even be real”)or quite impressed by the story (which is also ridiculous).

Anyway this is my pitch for a This Is That story:

Host: We are joined now by Kim Mowrey in [insert any city here] to tell us about a new sport that is becoming quite popular and which she hopes will one day make it into the Olympics. Kim, can you tell us a bit more about this sport.

Kim: Yes Peter. Thanks for having me on. The sport is called hike-a-bike and basically it is as it sounds. You are on mountain bike trails but instead of riding the trails on the bike, you are hiking the trails pushing your mountain bike.

Host: Uh-huh. And how did this hike-a-bike sport develop?

Kim: Well, usually what happens is your significant other wants to go mountain biking and thinks the trail he has picked out will be a good one for the both of you. He then takes off down the trail but because the route he has chosen is super technical, you end up hiking your bike to the end of the trail.

Host: So aren’t you technically mountain biking but you are just not very good at it?

Kim: Well yes, that is how it was initially until I started meeting up with other people who were also left behind by their partners and hiking their bikes so we decided to race hiking our bikes.

Host: I see. So are you timing yourselves?

Kim: The boys are because they are addicted to Strava so once they get to the end, they start a regular timer and must divide our time by their time.

Host: That sounds complicated. How are you going to have this in the Olympics when it relies on both your partners time and your time (and what if someone doesn’t have a partner).

Kim: Right. I have no idea but I figured talking about getting it into the olympics would get me on this show and here I am!

Host: I guess that did work for you.

And that was Kim Mowrey talking about the new sport, Hike-a-Bike. If you see Kim on any of the trails, be sure to say hello and perhaps point her in the direction of a less technical trail so she can actually get back on her bike.