Sunday, November 18, 2018

What to do on your vanbatical if you have decided to no longer live in the van

Over a year and half ago, Mike came up with this crazy idea to sell all of our stuff and live in a van. We like to tell it that he caught me in a moment of weakness after a stressful day of work. But I think the transition happened when we started decluttering our house and getting rid of stuff. We had been hoping to downsize to a smaller house in Thunder Bay and even had a real estate agent. But then when the van idea came up, it just meant downsizing into a van rather than a smaller house. Mike actually has a draft blog post about our process of decluttering but he never ended up publishing it. There are tons of books, documentaries and podcasts on the subject but our favourites are Marie Kondo’s The Art and Life Changing Magic of Tidying Up and Caitlyn Flander’s My Year of Less.

But back to the trip itself, if you haven’t already figured it out by now, we called this year off our vanbatical. The plan was to take a year and travel around North America with our dogs. Looking back, I think a year travelling in a van was a bit ambitious for me. And had I known this (although how does anyone know until they actually start living in the van), we might have planned things differently.

So here I am almost 6 months into a year off and 6 weeks out of the van having decided that I am not going back into the van full time. Any sabbatical book will tell you the most important part of taking a sabbatical is to plan what you are going to do on a sabbatical BEFORE the time off starts. But because I was planning on being in the van for a year, I am sort of going to have to wing it (which sounds ridiculous to me – I am a planner).

First order of business – secure housing. This was a bit more challenging than I thought. Temporary housing that will take animals. Word of mouth got me a place in Kenora down the street from my parents starting in January. And they were fine with me having one or both dogs. Check.

Second order of business – what the heck am I going to do? Go back to work? Volunteer? Continue to write a blog? People tell me that it is so exciting to have so much freedom but just like the vanlife sounded exciting, I actually find the uncertainty and lack of structure really hard. I like routine. I like to plan and organize my day and I have a lot of guilt if I haven’t “done” anything that I consider meaningful that day. These are very similar issues to those I had when I started the van trip so I am not sure why I thought being out of the van would make this part easier.

Third order of business – maintain a happy marriage. The year off was supposed to be this great opportunity to travel with my husband and share the experience of exploring North Amercia. But my choice of leaving the road and his choice to stay on the road means we are going to be apart now more than we are together. So the new challenge - how do we keep our relationship strong and support each other in our different journeys.

Side note: I booked a flight to Las Vegas in Decemberand will actually spend 3 more weeks in that van down in southern California. So stay tuned for “back in the van” blog posts.

Fourth order of business. Self development, self improvement, self discovery. Call it what you will but I have been reading Brene Brown’s books lately and really thinking a lot about shame, perfectionism, vulnerability, wholehearted living, gratitude, social connection, and life. It’s hard stuff but good stuff and I have some work ahead of me.

Fifth order of business. Reconnect with family and friends. I really missed spending time with people (other than my husband) who I loved and who loved me while travelling. Conversations with strangers on the road is fun but for me, it is not enough. Now I feel like I appreciate even more time spent with people where there is a deeper connection.  

So what is a vanbatical when you are not living in the van? It is a work in progress but it is also feeling grateful for this opportunity to have the time to focus on a few orders of business.

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